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There is a fascinating series on Netflix called Indian Matchmaker, in which a professional matchmaker tries to help young South Asian singles in the U.S. and India find love. While the show is a fun “popcorn watch” for viewers, it is a real pressure cooker for the participants, who are so desperate to find their “perfect” match and have a dream wedding. It highlights the unique value placed on the institution of marriage – cis-heterosexual marriage, to be precise – in South Asian culture.

While the series showcases many positive aspects of Desi (South Asian) cultures, such as family connection, respect for tradition, and celebration of marriage, it also reveals the considerable baggage that the journey towards marriage entails for young South Asians. The expectation of cis-hetero marriage is so stifling it leaves very little room for individual aspirations that may deviate from that model in the slightest.

Parents expect their son or daughter to follow the methodological approa

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